I Thought......

When I was young, I thought that I just need to have good grades just to please my parents. When I grew a little bit older, when I was in college, I thought I just have to finish it to get rid of going to school and doing a lot of assignments.

When I got out of college, I thought I just need to have a job since that is the only reason I thought I had to go to college. When I was working, I thought I had the freedom to do what I want since I could support my needs.

When I got married, I thought my freedom was curtailed because of so many adjustments, like, my husband must know my schedules, I had to attend to the house needs, attend to the needs of my husband and at the same time attend to my own needs since I was still working in an office.

When I was about to give birth to my first child, I thought that I can never, never be a good mother, I felt that I was irresponsible, not caring and very unconcerned. I talked to my doctor and asked him to take care of my child until she reaches the age of one. Maybe by that time, my mind and heart would already be settled to take the responsibility of being a mother.

When I gave birth to a baby girl, I thought that this child robbed me of my freedom, my dreams and may be the success that I was aspiring for. My heart was so weary that I did not want to see her nor did I want anybody to tell me about her. I felt so depressed in the hospital room.
I started saying goodbye to my dreams, my wishes, my plans and my aspirations.

The time came for me to leave the hospital and still I had not seen my baby. My family was there but they were all silent. I closed my eyes, I could not look at them, I felt so useless and uncomfortable. I fell asleep awaiting my husband to take me home. I was awakened by a soft, warm little body placed on top of me. With fear in my heart, I touched this little baby, I felt my body shaking and my heart trembling. But with amazement, it was not fear, it was joy! I called the doctor and told her, that we were going home. It was a great relief for them and they rejoiced with me.

I thought that everything was over for me. That is what I thought. No, everything is alright. I dream more, I work more, and I pray more. Giving birth was not the end of my dreams, it was the start of my dreams and I have to work to reach my dreams, all dedicated to the little angel God gave me.

When all my three children grew up, I thought I was done. No, it is not over, I have six grandchildren who are making me continue my dreams, my wishes, my aspirations.
There is only one thing I know, God gave them to me so I may be able to continue dreaming. And in pursuing my dreams, I felt heaven is here on earth, for God gave me the opportunity and privilege to serve Him through them.

Imagine, I dwelt in what I thought for a long time and that what I thought made me live a life that was full of uncertainty and apprehensions. Facing the reality and the truth is our true freedom that would lead us to live life to the fullest. Now, I understand the true meaning of life, to live not for oneself but for others with God. Then you would have fulfilled the law of love. God bless