Thursday, 28 February 2008

A Saint is a Re-cycled Sinner

With our charity appeal we do recycling of aluminium drinks cans to raise money. Once I was so depressed I could hardly do anything, hardly get out of bed let alone function in a job. The only thing that I carried on with (kept me going I think) was the appeal work. So sometimes to be useful, I used to go out with a bag and collect the cans that were thrown in the street so we could sell them later; the proceeds went to school fees in India , 150 kilos of cans = 60 pounds=1 years school fee. So one day I was doing this and I was also praying at the same time and this was my insight.

Sometimes the cans I found were whole, just left in the street or pavement, sometimes they were dented or crushed, sometimes flattened under the wheels of vehicles, sometimes clean and sometimes covered in mud or dirty. Where ever they were and whatever state they were in didn’t bother me at all, I picked them all up because they are sold by weight and each has exactly the same value, so each was equally important to me. My first insight was that, what I was doing with my cans was what God was doing with souls, with His children. Seeking them out, many discarded, many dented or flattened by life, some clean, some muddy but each with exactly the same value in His sight.

The other thing is that I enjoyed picking up cans, because I knew that the result was that my objective (money for school fees) was getting closer and closer to being met with each can. In fact I was delighted at each one I found even if it was squashed or muddy, it gave me joy to find each one. And similarly, it was also that way for God when he could re-gain a soul of one of His creatures. So me & God were having the same kind of day !

The next stage for me is to take them to the recycling centre. This is where the old cans are smelted. I also had an insight about this too.

They put all the cans into a smelter, where they are heated up and melted (very hot) and after a while all the molten metal is on the bottom of the container and all the impurities like paint or dirt etc floats on the top and this is skimmed off. Then the molten metal is poured into ingots and solidifies. So it is the pure metal (looks like silver). This can then be used to make anything, like new cans or an engine , even airplanes. So then I had the next insight..that after God collects souls he does the same thing, purifies them so as to re-form or re-shape them in the way he wants. An entirely new life or purpose. Instead of a furnace though He uses trials and suffering in order to purge and transform and He knows how to do it, like the man who operates the aluminium smelter. Somehow it works !

I suppose some of the process is on earth, some might be in purgatory depending on how we respond and learn from these trials here. Gradually we are transformed then, sanctified through this process back into His image and likeness.

I think our hardships are our sanctification and the souls we help will be our glory in the next life, the ones we bring with us to God and those we help with our charity too.(we can never do too much in that department).

A saint is a recycled sinner ..

Sometimes when I was collecting cans, I would bend down and pick one up, only to discover that it was not made of aluminium but steel. This was bitterly disappointing because whilst the aluminium ones have a cash value and were useful to me; the steel ones were worthless and even though I had expended the same amount of effort in gathering them up, all I could do was throw them away again. Then I had another insight..

This was the same for God too. Sometimes, despite His efforts in reaching out to souls, there will always be those who would reject Him, fail to open their hearts, remain in their ‘old ways’ and remain separated from Him by their own choice. He feels the same disappointment and grief for their loss, for them His sacrifice is wasted…

(from one of Ate Baby's outreaches)

Monday, 25 February 2008

"I Am Looking

I was invited by a pastor in California to help him build faith in their church. It was a great opportunity for me to share in my own simple way the love of God. I shared the experiences I had with God, which I believe is one way of building faith, since faith comes from hearing and hearing the word of God.

I stayed in the pastor's house. His wife is close to me since she was my outreach in Manila and I was a sponsor at their wedding. We prayed and read the bible every night. We sought God's guidance to be able to understand God's message for us each day. Each day we prayed, I felt good and I thought I was pleasing God in all my actions. Until one day, when the pastor and his wife left the house, I was moved to clean their house.

I did my best and I encountered a very heavy table that I could hardly move. I made every effort to move it, until finally I was able to. When I looked behind it, it was full of dust and cobwebs. In my mind, i decided that there was no need to clean it since they obviously never touched it anyway and would not notice. I tried to push it back into place,but I could hardly move it. I began to regret moving it in the first place. I rested for a moment and then tried again: in my mind, I said,"anyway they will never notice that this place is dirty".

I heard a small voice telling me, "What is it that they will not notice?" I answered, "this corner". Then the Lord said to me, "Just do it my child, I Am looking". My conscience was talking to me my God dwelling within me. I felt guilty and I cleaned it thoroughly. And I said, "is this good enough for you, Lord?"

I came to understand that there is nothing that we can hide from God, not even the smallest detail. He is there watching us, He knows what is in the deepest core of our minds and hearts. Where can we hide from Him?
I hid from God for so many years, but He always found me. Now that I have said yes to Him, I might as well obey Him in the smallest details; although I can not do it on my own, I still need Him to give me the strength to please Him.

I prayed, "Lord, give me the strength to obey you in the simplest details, so that I may please you"

The Seed

A video using pictures from the TV series Jesus of Nazareth and a new song called "The Seed" by Paul Lisney. The video is a reflection on the sorrows of Mary. For more of Paul's songs see:

Saturday, 23 February 2008

Make a believer out of me..

Click on the read an interview with Jim Caviezel (played Jesus in the Passion of Christ movie) about his conversion through the apparitions in Medjugorje..

Who is arrogant ?

"That afternoon, I was busy painting; I had to finish it for a client, when a guy, came in and sat right in front of me. He introduced himself. He was sent by a previous outreach of mine. I stopped and asked him what I could do for him. He said, he needed counselling.

He started telling me who he was and he used all 'hi-fallutin' words and beautiful adjectives to describe himself. I was thinking, what in the world was this man doing here. I felt that he did not need counselling, he just needed somebody to listen to his grand adventures and achievements.

In my heart, I was rejecting everything he was saying and in silence, I prayed to God and said, "God please take this man away from me. I am too busy for his stories".

Then in my heart, God asked me, "Why?'. I said'"because he is so arrogant, Lord". Then He asked me again, "Who is arrogant?" I answered, "the person in front of me; can you not hear what he is saying?" Then He asked me again, "who is arrogant?" I paused in silence, mulling over the answer of God. I was thinking, why is He asking "who", while there were only the two of us present in that room.

Then again for the last time, I said, "can you not hear him and see the arrogance in him?" And He answered,"How did you know he was, if you are not!"I stopped and looked inside me. I realized that there was truth in it, my heart is so competitive, though people may not know, but I know it.

I always think that I am right and everybody else is wrong. I felt so embarrassed in front of my God. In my silence while that man was talking so proudly of himself, I prayed, asking for God's forgiveness and praying that He may annoint me humility to accept the arrogant and the proud, for He has accepted me even in the midst of my weaknesses.

Deep in my heart, I thank the Lord for sending this man to me, I was able to see myself in him. That very moment, I put down the paint brush and listened intently to his stories. Not only was that person delivered that day, I was also magnificently delivered.

Every now and then, when a person like that comes to me to seek God, I think "here I go again" facing a mirror and seeing myself in their person. Since then, I pray each day, "my God annoint me humility, not to judge, that I may see You in every person.

Friday, 22 February 2008

Life is too short....

One morning when I was praying, I heard a strong but sweet voice in my heart telling me something, I went into deep meditation so as to receive exactly what the Lord was telling me.

Again, I heard a whisper telling me,"Life is too short, do not make it shorter, it is My want that you live life to the fullest".

This message kept on ringing in my mind. I stopped and thought it over and over. I came to realize that the Lord was telling me something to meditate on and to realize who I really am.

In my mind, I felt that in my life, I had done what I was supposed to do. As a person, I planned my works and worked what I planned. From my perspective, I had accomplished what was required, I did my uptmost to fulfill my plans. I knew, I did.

Still the message kept haunting me. What is the meaning of this message to me? What is living life to the fullest? I started looking back ,recalling where I came from. And in order for me to understand the meaning, I had to pray for guidance. I closed my eyes and I tried to visualize myself, who I was before.

To my amazement, I saw myself separated from God. I did it my way. I enjoyed life to the fullest in the sight of man but not in the sight of God. I enjoyed being approved of by man not by God. I was able to draw a graphic picture of my life from the age of reason until now.

I will be 63 years old this February 22. I counted every year when I was really with the Lord. I felt so sorry that when I counted the years that I was connected to my Creator; if I were to compute it as a percentage, it would show that even less than 20% of my life was dedicated and connected to my Creator. He said,..."it is My want that you live life to the fullest".

He said,"My want", not you must live life to the fullest. To me, the word I want is His way of giving me the freedom to choose how to live life. He is not forcing me to follow Him. He did not make me a slave to do what He wants me to. He just reminded me of His love for me and that He wanted me to be connected to Him so as to live life to the fullest.

This message made me vigilant in all my ways and actions. In my every action, I kept asking myself if I am pleasing my God, in my thoughts, words and deeds. And in the silence of my heart I prayed, "God, give me the joy to obey your will and give me the strength not to say no to you".

At one point, somebody came to me and said, "Sister, I believe that you have already a seat in heaven", I smiled at her and I said, "No sister, I owe God a lot, I am still paying may dues, and as to when I am done, He is the only one Who can say, I am done". I am still here, waiting for His instructions. Every time people would seek God through me, I am sure in my heart that I am not done yet.

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

It does not really matter....

I was invited to give a talk to a group of lay ministers in one of the churches in Manila. I looked at them and they were the people who were so involved in their service to the church. In my heart, I felt inadequate to give a talk to these people who are so decent and holy.

I was thinking when I was in front of them what to share with them. What would be the subject most fitting to the group? They were always having their retreats and recollections regularly with high ranking priests. And in my silence, I prayed that God would give me the wisdom to speak the appropriate topic that would enhance their faith in God. So instead of me giving a talk, I asked each one just one question and told them to answer it with all honesty.

The question was this, "what moved you to decide to serve the Lord as lay ministers?" Each one of them stood up and told his story. There were about forty gentlemen. And there were lots of reasons; like, one said, his wife was serving and he was just waiting outside the church, so instead of waiting, he might as well join her serve in the church.

Others said, they had nothing to do, others said, they were invited by friends and they could not say no. Others said, they were already retired and they were not use to staying at home. Some said, there was nothing to lose since it was only once or twice a week. I waited for someone to say that he serves because he loves the Lord, or maybe, he wants to show his gratitude. But I never heard any of those reasons.

I asked them as to how long have been serving in the church. I learned that most of them were serving for quite a long time already, for years and they were still there, truly dedicated and giving most of their time in service for the Lord. They have already forgotten as to how they started. Service is no longer a pastime for them, they are taking seriously the challenge of serving God with all their hearts. Then I came to understand that, it really does not matter how we are called. What matters is we said Yes to His calling and He will do the rest. And without them knowing it, they reached the point at which they were enjoying serving the Lord with enthusiasm, focus and passion.

At the end of the talk, I thanked God for giving them the opportunity and privilege to serve Him. Though these people were reluctant to serve at the beginning, He turned their hearts to serve with joy and enthusiasm.

Truly, it really does not matter how we are called, we just have to say Yes to God.

Monday, 18 February 2008

All Over the World, the Spirit is Moving

This is a website where you can read testimonies (old & new) from every continent.
Click on the title..

Sunday, 17 February 2008

I Thought......

When I was young, I thought that I just need to have good grades just to please my parents. When I grew a little bit older, when I was in college, I thought I just have to finish it to get rid of going to school and doing a lot of assignments.

When I got out of college, I thought I just need to have a job since that is the only reason I thought I had to go to college. When I was working, I thought I had the freedom to do what I want since I could support my needs.

When I got married, I thought my freedom was curtailed because of so many adjustments, like, my husband must know my schedules, I had to attend to the house needs, attend to the needs of my husband and at the same time attend to my own needs since I was still working in an office.

When I was about to give birth to my first child, I thought that I can never, never be a good mother, I felt that I was irresponsible, not caring and very unconcerned. I talked to my doctor and asked him to take care of my child until she reaches the age of one. Maybe by that time, my mind and heart would already be settled to take the responsibility of being a mother.

When I gave birth to a baby girl, I thought that this child robbed me of my freedom, my dreams and may be the success that I was aspiring for. My heart was so weary that I did not want to see her nor did I want anybody to tell me about her. I felt so depressed in the hospital room.
I started saying goodbye to my dreams, my wishes, my plans and my aspirations.

The time came for me to leave the hospital and still I had not seen my baby. My family was there but they were all silent. I closed my eyes, I could not look at them, I felt so useless and uncomfortable. I fell asleep awaiting my husband to take me home. I was awakened by a soft, warm little body placed on top of me. With fear in my heart, I touched this little baby, I felt my body shaking and my heart trembling. But with amazement, it was not fear, it was joy! I called the doctor and told her, that we were going home. It was a great relief for them and they rejoiced with me.

I thought that everything was over for me. That is what I thought. No, everything is alright. I dream more, I work more, and I pray more. Giving birth was not the end of my dreams, it was the start of my dreams and I have to work to reach my dreams, all dedicated to the little angel God gave me.

When all my three children grew up, I thought I was done. No, it is not over, I have six grandchildren who are making me continue my dreams, my wishes, my aspirations.
There is only one thing I know, God gave them to me so I may be able to continue dreaming. And in pursuing my dreams, I felt heaven is here on earth, for God gave me the opportunity and privilege to serve Him through them.

Imagine, I dwelt in what I thought for a long time and that what I thought made me live a life that was full of uncertainty and apprehensions. Facing the reality and the truth is our true freedom that would lead us to live life to the fullest. Now, I understand the true meaning of life, to live not for oneself but for others with God. Then you would have fulfilled the law of love. God bless

Friday, 15 February 2008

Book Launch

The book launching was in April 2007 .. a few photos..

To order a copy e-mail :

Thursday, 14 February 2008

The Path of Glory by Mrs D. Dirige was published in 2007.

"The author believes that all creations are connected to the Creator and that the Creator is so loving that He loves to commune with His people in a very special and personal way which is beyond the comprehension of the human mind. As this is interpreted as miracle, it produces in the heart of man a connection that makes us believe in God in the spirit of faith and trust in Him.

The experiences of the people in this book changed their lives tremdously and made them understand that we have the power to go beyond human imagination."

God's love is infinite and His love is always available to us. And that God is the ultimate wisdom.